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| Posted by Mr X. Jiffy on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemistry song 05Deck the Labs
Deck the labs with rubber tubing
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Use your funnel and your filter
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our goggles and aprons
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Before we go to our lab stations
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fill the beakers with solutions
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Mix solutions for reactions
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Watch we now for observations
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
So we can collect our data
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
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| Posted by Thomas Parry on 09-Aug-2005 | The alcohol troubleDuring grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols:
The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks emptied into a single box, which overflowed into the mains sewers. Presumably this was intended to retain things like droplets of mercury, which was not banned from use when I was 16.
During the session, my bunsen went out, so I re-lit it with a splint lit from the teacher's bunsen. For safety's sake (!) I dropped the burning splint into the sink, intending to extinguish it with water, instead of waving it around in the alcohol fumes. A small blue flame disappeared down the plughole. Hum, thinks I, I wonder where that's going?
I opened the cupboard 'neath the sink, only to find the drain box, full of alcohol, a roaring mass of flame. Shutting the doors, I called out, "Er, Sir..." just as the inch-thick wooden lids blew off the adjacent un-used sinks. Fortunately, the back-blast extinguished the flames under the cupboard, so the box only sagged slightly!
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| Posted by Esther Hodgson on 09-Aug-2005 | Earth science answersREAL ANSWERS FROM EARTH SCIENCE EXAMS
The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.
Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.
The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.
We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.
Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.
The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.
We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.
The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt.
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| Posted by Canadian seven seven eight on 09-Aug-2005 | Thrown out of the labTop ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab
10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
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| Posted by kenzie on 09-Aug-2005 | The Cesium song 06Why Don't We Mix Up the Two
(Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..."
with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)
I've got a pound of Cesium,
It's burning gently near.
The sky-blue flame looks lovely,
But it's noise I want to hear.
So darlin' bring some water,
A couple pints'll do.
And why don't we mix up the two?
Why don't we mix up the two?
'Cause Cesium and water,
Really make a wicked brew.
You say I've got a death wish,
But honey, I'm just blue.
So why don't we mix up the two?
---Songs of Cesium #29
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| Posted by Coley T. Dyaps on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemist's last wordsThe last words of a chemist:
19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...
20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?
21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!
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| Posted by Chris E. Yannaco on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemistry song 06The Twelve Days of Chemistry
On the first day of chemistry
My teacher gave to me
A candle from Chem Study.
(second day) two asbestos pads
(third day) three little beakers
(fourth day) four work sheets
(fifth day) five golden moles
(sixth day) six flaming test tubes
(seventh day) seven unknown samples
(eighth day) eight homework problems
(ninth day) nine grams of salt
(tenth day) a ten page test
(eleventh day) eleven molecules
(twelfth day) a twelve point quiz
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| Posted by Black Dog on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemistry song 16Lab Reports
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
Dashing through the lab
with a tan page lab report
Taking all those tests
and laughing at them all
Bells for fire drills ring
making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
a chemistry song tonight.
Oh, lab report, lab reports,
reacting all the way
Oh what fun it is to study
for a chemistry test today, Hey!
Chemistry test, chemistry test
isn't it a blast
Oh what fun it is to take
a chemistry test and pass.
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| Posted by Coli E. Pritzker on 09-Aug-2005 | The Cesium song 09It's So Easy
(Tune, It's so Easy)
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
People say that I'm a fool,
When I take my Cesium into the pool.
And it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yes it's so easy,
Where my love's concerned,
To get myself burned.
But it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
I look into her flame and see,
A sky-blue light floodin' over me.
Though it's so easy,
So doggone easy,
Yeah it's so easy,
When she's concerned,
To get myself burned.
Still it's with Cesium I'm in love,
It's with Cesium I'm in love!
---Songs of Cesium #87
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| Posted by Angela D. Cox on 09-Aug-2005 | Chem one-liners 01Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams
Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.
How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!
It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. --quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)
Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D.L. Bunker
Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe.
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