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| Posted by Jeremy W. Thompson on 09-Aug-2005 | A geologist's song 03The Marginal Basin Song by Chris Stillman
(melody: Lead us on, thou Heavenly Father)
On a margin runs a canyon down into the ocean dark;
There's a basin slowly filling with detritus from the arc.
Refrain: For the drifting causes rifting,
Opens basins mighty fine
Which strike-slip will close in time.
With volcanics there's no problem; they're erupting all the time;
Fill the thin with pillow lavas, sheeted dikes and serpentine.
Rising slowly from the ocean filled with gritties coarse and fine,
Are you fore-arc? Are you anti-arc? Are you just a geosyncline?
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| Posted by Scavenger on 09-Aug-2005 | Thrown out of the labTop ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab
4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.
2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid
1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
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| Posted by jsw240 on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemistry song 04Silent Labs
Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Observations of colors and smells
Calculations and graph curves like bells
Memories of tests that have past
Oh, how long will chemistry last?
Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Lots of equations that need balancing
Gas pressure problems that make my head ring
Santa Chlorine's on his way
Oh, Please Santa bring me an 'A'.
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| Posted by Mr. Bump N' Grind on 09-Aug-2005 | Dedicated geologistsTotal immersion geologists
Total immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so, then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs:
1. You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use rather than their food.
2. You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in: "What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?" "I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?"
3. You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle.
4. You like rock music only because it's called "rock" music.
5. You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better look at the bedrock at the base of the channel.
6. You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on.
7. You name your children after rocks and minerals.
8. You're not sure if you have children.
9. You view non-geologists as subhuman.
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| Posted by Mr X. Jiffy on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemistry song 05Deck the Labs
Deck the labs with rubber tubing
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Use your funnel and your filter
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our goggles and aprons
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Before we go to our lab stations
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fill the beakers with solutions
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Mix solutions for reactions
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Watch we now for observations
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
So we can collect our data
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
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| Posted by Thomas Parry on 09-Aug-2005 | The alcohol troubleDuring grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols:
The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks emptied into a single box, which overflowed into the mains sewers. Presumably this was intended to retain things like droplets of mercury, which was not banned from use when I was 16.
During the session, my bunsen went out, so I re-lit it with a splint lit from the teacher's bunsen. For safety's sake (!) I dropped the burning splint into the sink, intending to extinguish it with water, instead of waving it around in the alcohol fumes. A small blue flame disappeared down the plughole. Hum, thinks I, I wonder where that's going?
I opened the cupboard 'neath the sink, only to find the drain box, full of alcohol, a roaring mass of flame. Shutting the doors, I called out, "Er, Sir..." just as the inch-thick wooden lids blew off the adjacent un-used sinks. Fortunately, the back-blast extinguished the flames under the cupboard, so the box only sagged slightly!
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| Posted by Esther Hodgson on 09-Aug-2005 | Earth science answersREAL ANSWERS FROM EARTH SCIENCE EXAMS
The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.
Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.
The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.
We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.
Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.
The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.
We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.
The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt.
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| Posted by Canadian seven seven eight on 09-Aug-2005 | Thrown out of the labTop ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab
10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
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| Posted by kenzie on 09-Aug-2005 | The Cesium song 06Why Don't We Mix Up the Two
(Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..."
with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)
I've got a pound of Cesium,
It's burning gently near.
The sky-blue flame looks lovely,
But it's noise I want to hear.
So darlin' bring some water,
A couple pints'll do.
And why don't we mix up the two?
Why don't we mix up the two?
'Cause Cesium and water,
Really make a wicked brew.
You say I've got a death wish,
But honey, I'm just blue.
So why don't we mix up the two?
---Songs of Cesium #29
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| Posted by Coley T. Dyaps on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemist's last wordsThe last words of a chemist:
19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...
20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?
21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!
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