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| Posted by jc spencer on 09-Aug-2005 | A geologist's song 02Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz
Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean,
Alas for the spreading of the sea,
Alas for every year that passes by,
Taking you two inches more from me!
Oh, why did you leave our native plate,
Causing me to weep and to mourn?
With the plates diverging at such a rate,
To leave me alone and lorn?
If only the mantle would my counsel take,
If the Earth would but listen unto me,
I'd say, "Your convection cell remake,
And bring my darling back to me!"
So dive you down, you ocean dark,
Part of the mantle be-
Fire you up, you island arc -
Subduct my darling back to me!
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| Posted by Bill Clinton on 09-Aug-2005 | The Cesium song 04Cesium the Beautiful
Oh beautiful for blue of skies,
Among thy spectral lines.
When cast upon the waters clear,
Thy splendid fire shines.
Oh Cesium,
Oh Cesium,
Our days we trust to thee.
Thy faultless rhyme,
In keeping time,
From care doth set us free.
---Songs of Cesium #68
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| Posted by Acer on 09-Aug-2005 | Rhymes in chemistryCHEMISTRY RHYMES
Old Man Stokes
Old man Stokes was a gentleman fine
Who lived beside the Raleigh line;
Old anti-Stokes, his existance denied,
Lived never-the-less on the other side.
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| Posted by Playful on 09-Aug-2005 | Chem one-liners 04Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
A: Methylated Spirits!
Q: How many atoms in a guacamole?
A:Avocado's number.
Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole?
A: Avogadros.
Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.
These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: It takes alkynes to make a world.
"Take plenty of the dark purple solution", Tom offered, managnimously.
"This old pipe is rusty", said Tom, ironically.
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| Posted by Wild Lietz on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemist's last wordsThe last words of a chemist:
4. ... and please keep that test tube alone!
5. And now shake it a bit.
6. Why is there no label on this bottle?
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| Posted by Mini Me on 09-Aug-2005 | The day of the finalIt was time for the final and the student depending upon getting at least one right answer on the chemistry test.
The question was "If h20 if water, what is h204?"
This was a quick question for most, but it took the student some thinking time.
Finally, he wrote down his answer: For drinking, washing, and cleaning.
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| Posted by J Harry on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemist's fast prayerChemist's fast prayer:
Dear Lord, if I mix sodium
with concentrated HNO3,
and add to it Plutonium,
would you take care on me?
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| Posted by shankar jayaram on 09-Aug-2005 | Thrown out of the labTop ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab
7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
5. Deny the existence of chemicals.
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| Posted by I'm Angel on 09-Aug-2005 | Chemistry is boringIT'S OFFICIAL : CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN.
October 9, 1995
A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years -- chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.
Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR -- "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour , the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.
The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion . . ."
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| Posted by Steelers R. Awesome on 08-Aug-2005 | sciencewhat do you call a science joke?
STUPID.
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