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| Posted by Chuckie on 11-Aug-2005 | Win the lotteryI guy comes running into his home to greet his wife. "Hunney, hunney, pack your bags, I just won the lottery." She gasps with excitement and replies, "should i pack for warm or cold weather?" he replies, "I don't care, just get the fuck out."
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| Posted by Lizz on 11-Aug-2005 | Blondes and MoneyQ: What do you call a prostitute that doesn't
care about money?
A: A blonde
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| Posted by Cam Salisbury on 11-Aug-2005 | Break TimeHere I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger
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| Posted by Shaawwwwing on 11-Aug-2005 | Math related!One day there were two mathbooks sittin on a school desk. One turns to the other sobbing and says I've got problems- BIG problems.
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| Posted by Justin on 11-Aug-2005 | Horoscope For The WorkplaceASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, and what you watch on TV. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your boss.
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| Posted by Laxori Shiin on 11-Aug-2005 | The lightDue to budget cuts....the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
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| Posted by Mike Rotch on 11-Aug-2005 | Calling CardBen Dover
And
C. Howlett Fields
Attorneys At Law
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| Posted by Locke S. Welch on 11-Aug-2005 | Bobby's MottoI have a small mind-and I'm prepared to use it!
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| Posted by Dianthus W on 11-Aug-2005 | Big Papa GeovanniThey don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to
be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway."
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| Posted by i p Freely on 11-Aug-2005 | MoneyQ: Whats the difference between a politician and $20
A: $20 can do something for you
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