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| Posted by General cerulli on 09-Aug-2005 | Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability:Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.
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| Posted by Siemen on 09-Aug-2005 | When I take a longWhen I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.
When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.
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| Posted by Chrissy Demetrion on 09-Aug-2005 | Every silver lining has aEvery silver lining has a cloud around it.
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| Posted by Adam on 09-Aug-2005 | In the fight between youIn the fight between you and the world, back the world.
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| Posted by Jamie N. Lewis on 09-Aug-2005 | It takes a big manIt takes a big man to admit when he's wrong, and an even bigger one to keep his mouth shut when he's right.
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| Posted by Laura Seeley on 09-Aug-2005 | The chief cause of problemsThe chief cause of problems is solutions.
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| Posted by Curtis Hogan on 09-Aug-2005 | Cooke's Law: In anyCooke's Law: In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
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| Posted by Briana L. Blahnik on 08-Aug-2005 | looking busy
Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you've created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of "business," there's no telling how far you'll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances.
Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey.
Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria.
Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, "Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"
Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, "Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining... Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"
Appearance: You are at your computer writing a serious business memorandum to your department supervisior.
Reality: You are at your computer telling dead-baby jokes to your e-mail correspondent in Namibia.
Appearance: You are urgently plugging numbers into a complicated spreadsheet.
Reality: You are playing Tetris.
Appearance: You are tapping away on calculator keys, helping out the accounting department.
Reality: You are paying your electric bill.
Appearance: You are reading the DOS manual.
Reality: You are reading the TV guide you placed in the DOS manual.
Appearance: You are staring at an empty computer screen, absorbed in deep thought.
Reality: You have pressed "Escape" just in time, erasing a MacDraw portrait entitled "Supervisor with Pitchfork Wound Clinging to a Cliff"
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| Posted by Krissy J on 09-Aug-2005 | Demian's Observation: There isDemian's Observation: There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read "Abandon hope all ye who enter here".
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| Posted by Braelyn Garin on 11-Aug-2005 | Project ManagersIf you get in my way, I'll kill you!
- ideal project manager
If you get in my way, you'll kill me!
- somewhat less than ideal project manager
If I get in my way, I'll kill you!
- somewhat misguided project manager
If I get in your way, I'll kill you!
- A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.)
If get kill in will way I you.
- dyslexic, functionally illiterate project
manager
I am the way! Kill me if you can!
- messianic project manager
Get away, I'll kill us all!
- suicidal project manager
If you kill me, I'll get in your way.
- thoughtful but ineffective project manager
If I kill you, I'll get in your way.
- project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious
If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.
- project manager from New York
I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so
no one will get killed.
- project manager who is about to get in big trouble
If you kill me, so what? If you get in my way, who cares?
- weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager
If I kill me, you'll get your way.
- pragmatic project manager
Kill me, it's the only way.
- every project manager to date.
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