|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by david a. zeimer on 11-Aug-2005 | Bobby's Favorite JokeThree Gay Men Die
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the
same time,and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, 'My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up
in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky.'
The second man said, 'My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm
going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake
The third man (Bobby) said, 'My Jim was such a good lover, I think
I'm
going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my
ass up just one more time.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Aaron78102 on 11-Aug-2005 | GhostsQ:what is a ghosts favorit road?
A:A dead end.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Hallie C. Knap on 11-Aug-2005 | Bird DogJoe owned one of the finest bird dogs ever seen. It had won many trophies over the years. One day, Joe got a call from a friend named Bob, who asked if he could borrow the dog to go pheasant hunting on saturday. Well, Joe told him that he never loaned his dog to hunt, and asked Bob if he had ever hunted with a dog. Bob said "Oh sure, grew up hunting with a dog". "Well then, you're a pretty good friend, I guess you can use him", Joe agreed. Saturday, Bob showed up, and Joe brought out his champion dog and loaded him in the truck."Good luck", Joe said,"hope you brought plenty of shells, see you later". That evening, Bob came back to Joe's, and Joe came out to meet them. "Well, how many did you get?", Joe asked. "We didn't get any" Bob shouted. "That's unbelievable" Joe exclaimed. Bob said,"Yea, it was the funniest thing, we got there, I loaded my gun, I let out your dog and we started hunting. All of a sudden, your dog stopped. He had his head pointing straight forward, his ears were straight forward, his back was straight as an arrow, his tail was pointing straight back, his one paw was lifted up off the ground, and he just stood there. Couple quick kicks in the ass broke him of that shit".
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Maureen Miner on 11-Aug-2005 | Bob and John go huntingBob and John were out hunting one day and came across a goat with her head stuck in a fence. John dropped his drawers and bonged her real good and turned to Bob an says "Want some?" Well, ol Bob says "Sure", and stuck his head in the fence next to the goat.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sarah A. Pedersen on 11-Aug-2005 | The huntsmanA huntsman was hunting in the mountains one day and he came upon a bear. as the bear chased him he triped he began to pray:please let this bear be a christian,please let this bear be a christian!!! all of a sudden the bear got on his knees and prayed: thank you dear lord for the wonderful meal i am about to eat!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Raynman M on 11-Aug-2005 | NutsTwo men were hunting in the woods.One man tuned to the other and said "Wait here and if anything happens scream."
As the man walked out of the woods he heard his friend scream.So he ran back as fast as he could.
When he got to his friend he asked him what was wrong. His friend answered "Well first a deer thretened to buck me, but I didn't scream, then a bear thretened to claw mu face in, but I didn't scream, then two chipmunks ran up my pants leg and asked 'which nut shall we eat first?' Then I screamed!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by tabitha on 11-Aug-2005 | Going-ons in the ParkOnce there were three boys sitting in the park, and a police officer came over to them, and told them they had to come with him to the court because there had been reports of something strange going on in the park.
So, when they got to the court, the judge asked the bailif to bring the first little boy in, and the judge asked him what he had seen. The little boy said "Well, sir, there were these two people, and they were fuckin". Judge said "Son, i dont' allow that kind of language in my court room, bailiff, take him out."
So, the judge called in the second little boy, and asked him what he had seen. Little boy said "Well, sir, there were these two people, and they were screwing." Judge again said "I don't allow that kind of language, take him out too."
So, then the judge called in the third little boy and asked the same question. The third little boy said "Well, sir, I saw ten toes up, ten toes down, two assholes goin round and round, six inches out, and six inches in, that's all i'm sayin so i don't get thrown in the pin."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by EleC_TriCk on 11-Aug-2005 | Farmer Loses 2025 Pigs!Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand. The data is later entered later by a into their database by a clerk.
One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the clerk called the farmer directly.
"Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" sheasked.
"Yeth." lisped the farmer. Being a Howard County girl herself, the clerk entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Dick Day on 11-Aug-2005 | Getting out of a Speeding TicketDid you hear about the kid who was pulled over for speeding?
The cop got out of his car and the young man rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by steven Burgess on 11-Aug-2005 | Got Any ID?An Alabama State Trooper pulled over a pickup truck on I-20 and asked the driver, "Got any ID?"
The Alabama driver replied, "'bout what?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
