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| Posted by Luna on 14-Aug-2005 | A Classic Tommy Cooper Joke'Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery
acid, the other eating fireworks. They charged one and let the
other one off!'
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| Posted by Jim Porter on 12-Aug-2005 | Yes What?World War III. The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem.
Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: attack or retreat?
The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES.
The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied.
Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT?
Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR!
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| Posted by enjoyingboyhood on 14-Aug-2005 | Irish RAFThe Irish RAF stormed the RSPCA. They went to kill the five
Afgans held there.
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| Posted by slimchance on 14-Aug-2005 | I'm Someone's HeroDid you here about the girl I save from being raped in the Ames
parking lot?
You know how I did it?
I stopped following her.
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| Posted by Paul S. Morette on 12-Aug-2005 | Wooden AirfieldAn enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has
been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German
"airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almost
entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun
emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.
The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied
photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.
The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last
wooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed
the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a
large wooden bomb.
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| Posted by Ryan C. on 14-Aug-2005 | bin laden FOUND!Bin laden was found yesterday.
he was hiding behind the cookie shop
with the afgans
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| Posted by Mike Dupuis on 11-Aug-2005 | Saddam, After Prozac Runs OutSADDAM IN FIT AFTER PROZAC RUNS OUT
Amidst the bombing, Saddam Hussein was heard wimpering that he was defying the US led embargo of his country only because it prevented him from getting his prescription for Prozac refilled.
"He is suffering the mother of all snits now that his medication has run out. We are fearful to be around him. It would be in the best interest of world peace to get him a megadose of Prozac so he returns to his happy, cheerful self before it's too late," one of Saddam's close advisors said after being assured anonymity.
A White House source admitted that the President had previously considered the option of a Prozac airdrop over Hussein's bunker, but he decided against it, imagining the world with a smiling happy-go-lucky Saddam was just too much.
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| Posted by James A. Ray on 12-Aug-2005 | Anti aircraft weaponThe USA blamed the Russian companies that they were supplying Bagdad with the elastic band for pants. Iraq engineers made the catapults of them and now Iraq soldiers are striking a blow to American air forces.
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| Posted by Ashley N. Funny on 14-Aug-2005 | War on SaddamSaddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who
to invade next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily-accented voice said.
"This is Yitzhak down in Tel Aviv, Israel. I am ringing to
inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Yitzhak," Saddam replied, "This is important
news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Yitzhak after a
moment's calculation, "there is me, my cousin Saul, my next-door
neighbor Shlomo, and the entire pinochle team from the deli --
that makes eight!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Yitzhak, that I have
1million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Oy vey!", said Yitzhak, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Yitzhak rang back. "Right,
Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire
some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Yitzhak?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and
Goldberg's tractor from the kibbutz."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Yitzhak,
that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel
carriers, and my army has increased to one and a half million
since we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Yitzhak, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Yitzhak rang again the next day. "Right, Mr.
Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves
airborne! We've modified Moshe's ultralight with a couple of
rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as
well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must
tell you Yitzhak that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand
MIG-19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by
laser-uided surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last
spoke, my army has increased to two million."
"Oy gevalt!", said Yitzhak, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Yitzhak called again the next day.
"Right, Mr Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to
call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"
"Well," said Yitzhak, "We've all had a chat, and there's no way
we can feed two million prisoners.
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| Posted by cherry lover on 13-Aug-2005 | Yo mamma so fatyo mamma so fat,she joined the military,that had over 100,000 wemen,and said,hi,I am here to sign up as cover for when the military goes to Iraq,and the head cheif yells out,take cover.
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