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| Posted by Louis Turner on 14-Aug-2005 | Dont Do That1. A guy walks into a doctors office and says, doc, it hurts
every time I move my arm like this. The doctor says, dont move
your arm like that.
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| Posted by Jennifer Wallace on 14-Aug-2005 | Dr. BlondeA brunette asks her blonde if she can lend her some money. The
blonde says, "sure I just got a job". The brunette says, "what
kind of job"? "Oh, I'm a doctor, I went to the collage FU don't
you remember"? the blonde answers. "How long did that
take?"asks the brunette. "Oh well, under 4 years!" "how long
under
4 years?" "Only 42 months isn't that short?"
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The brunette answers,
"I hate to dissapoint you but 42 months kinda equals 4 years"
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| Posted by pink_sparkle on 14-Aug-2005 | The second hand shopWhy did the hand cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the second hand shop
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| Posted by FloridaHottie4ya on 14-Aug-2005 | two dogstwo dogs are a the vets one dog says to the other what are you
here for the other dog tells how he jumped the fence and had his
way with the neighbours dog and gos on to tell how his owner is
having him put down then he asks the other dog what he woz there
for the first dog tells how his owners wife woz makeing the bed
in the nude and he had his way with her dog two then says so you
are hear to be put down too then no no says dog one i'm haveing
my nails cliped
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| Posted by Hallie S. Comet on 14-Aug-2005 | 6 Pack of Ping Pong BallsJohnny was about to turn 14 and his father didn't know what to
buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you want for
your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father was rather bemused by this, but nonetheless he
searched hard for a 6 pack of ping pong balls, but did not find
one. He bought Johnny a skateboard instead.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great, but I would really have liked a 6 pack of ping
pong balls.
Next year Johnny was about to turn 15 and his father didn't know
what to buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you
want for your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father was rather bemused by this, but nonetheless he
searched hard for a 6 pack of ping pong balls, but did not find
one. He bought Johnny a bike instead.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great, but I would really have liked a 6 pack of ping
pong balls.
Next year Johnny was about to turn 16 and his father didn't know
what to buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you
want for your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father was rather bemused by this, but nonetheless he
searched hard for a 6 pack of ping pong balls, but did not find
one. He bought Johnny a pair of rollerblades instead.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great, but I would really have liked a 6 pack of ping
pong balls.
Next year Johnny was about to turn 17 and his father didn't know
what to buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you
want for your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father was rather bemused by this, but nonetheless he
searched hard for a 6 pack of ping pong balls, but did not find
one. He bought Johnny a laptop instead.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great, but I would really have liked a 6 pack of ping
pong balls.
Next year Johnny was about to turn 18 and his father didn't know
what to buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you
want for your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father was rather bemused by this, but nonetheless he
searched hard for a 6 pack of ping pong balls, but did not find
one. He bought Johnny a 9 pack of ping pong balls instead.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great, but I would really have liked a 6 pack of ping
pong balls.
Next year Johnny was about to turn 19 and his father didn't know
what to buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you
want for your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father was rather bemused by this, but nonetheless he
searched hard for a 6 pack of ping pong balls, but did not find
one. He bought Johnny an atlas instead.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great (actually, it really, really sucks), but I would
really have liked a 6 pack of ping pong balls.
Next year Johnny was about to turn 20 and his father didn't know
what to buy him for his birthday. He asked Johnny "What do you
want for your birthday, Son?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I would really like a 6 pack of ping
pong balls."
Johnny's father thought Johnny was getting a little bit old for
a 6 pack of ping pong balls, so he didn't bother searching.
Instead, he bought Johnny a car.
When Johnny opened his present, he said "Well Dad, this is
really great, but I would really have liked a 6 pack of ping
pong balls.
Johnny was driving his car one day when he had a terrible car
accident. In hospital, he said to his father "Dad, I do not have
much longer to live, so you can ask me one question."
Johnny's father thought for a moment and then said "Why did you
want a six pack of ping pong balls?"
Johnny replied "Well Dad, I wanted the 6 pack of ping pong balls
because .............. "
Then he died.
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| Posted by Dete on 14-Aug-2005 | Jelly BabyA Jelly Baby goes to see his doctor
"Doctor, doctor i think i have aids!"
The Doctor says:
"You can't have aids, you're a jelly baby."
To which he replies
"Yeah I know but I've been shaggin Allsorts"
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| Posted by Wesley Allen on 14-Aug-2005 | Automatic Tampon RemoverA man was on an aeroplane and needed to use the toilet but the
mens was broken so he went into the ladies.
He was amazed how different it was to the mens toilets, there
were loads of buttons, so he decided to try them out.
The first one washed his bum and the second one dried it. The
third one pampered his bum.
Then he saw one marked ATR, as soon as he pressed it he blacked
out.
3 hours later he woke up in hospital and in extreme pain. He
noticed the air hostess from the flight. "The button you
pressed," she said with a smirk on her face "was an Automatic
Tampon Remover. Your dick is under your pillow."
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| Posted by Jeff D. Ahern on 10-Aug-2005 | KY JellyA nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this
morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't get used to
the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the woman
produced a foil packet plainly labeled "KY Jelly."
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| Posted by Kandi Shingler on 14-Aug-2005 | Viagra StorySo what's the differnce between an Italian and a Jewish wife?
The Italian wife tells her husband to buy Viagra.
The Jewish wife tells her husband to buy Pfizer.
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| Posted by kelbell on 14-Aug-2005 | 4 wrong ways to eat a Reeses1 Cram it in your ear
2 Put it in your butt
3 Stuff it in your neighbor's nose
4 leave the wrapper on
... Remember.. there IS wrong ways to eat a reeses!!!
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