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| Posted by Slip Knot on 14-Aug-2005 | Notre Dame fight song(Sung to the Notre Dame fight song)
Stand up and cheer for girls who give head, they'll bring back your limp
dick right from the dead, they've got knee pads on their slits, and plenty
of chapstick for their lips. Some like to cornhole, some like to screw,
but I like the ones who will pump out my gew, spit or swallow I don't
care, as long as her head is there.
At the end of the month, most girls will agree, it's time for a little
tonsole hockey, when your big balls slap her chin, you'll know that you
can't get much more in.
So stand up and cheer for the girls in the spa, the ones who suck cock,
they know who they are. Later on when we're pumping gew, we'll know who
they are too.
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| Posted by codemasta on 14-Aug-2005 | Test PrayerNow I lay me down to study,
I pray the Lord I won't go nutty,
if I should fail to learn this junk
I pray the Lord I will not flunk.
Now I lay me down to rest,
and I pray I pass tomorrow's test,
if I should die before I wake,
that's one less test I'll have to take.
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| Posted by Jonathan D. Oneand on 14-Aug-2005 | Rejected Childrens Book Titles1. Some Kittens Can Fly
2. That's It, I'm Putting You up For Adoption
3. Grandpa Gets a Casket
4. The Magic World Inside An Abandoned Refrigerator
5. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
6. The Popup Book Of Human Anatomy
7. Strangers Have The Best Candy
8. Whining, Crying, And Kicking To Get Your Way
9. You Were An Accident
10. Things Rich Kids Have But you Never Will
11. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and your School
12. Places Where Mommy And Daddy Hide Neat Things
13. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
14. You Are Different And That's Bad
15. The Boy Who Died From Eating All Of His Vegetables
16. Dads New Wife Robert
17. Fun Four Letter Words To Know And Share
18. Hammers, Screwdrivers And Scissors: An I Can Do It All Book
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| Posted by Patrick Reyes on 14-Aug-2005 | The Professor's BrainDuring one of a professer's routine classes, he decided to raise
a controversial subject:
He stood in front of his class and said: "Can anyone hear God?
Can anyone see God? Can anyone smell God?" After a long pause,
the professor concluded: "Because none of you can hear, see, or
smell God, I conclude that there is no God."
Not to be outdone, one particularly potent student stood up.
"May I address the class directly?" he asked.
"Yes, you may," the professor replied.
The student went to the front of the class and began: "Can
anyone hear the professor's brain? Can anyone see the
professor's brain? Can anyone smell the professor's brain?"
After a particularly uneasy and long pause, the student
finished: "Because none of you can hear, see, or smell the
professor's brain, I conclude that the professor has no brain."
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| Posted by Steve j. Kapton on 14-Aug-2005 | Bad Childrens' Book TitlesThese were taken from a Washington Post contest....
"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"How to Dress Sexy for Grownups"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of
North Amer... Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Bi-Curious George"
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| Posted by Guylaine Castro on 14-Aug-2005 | Do Anything To Pass ExamA student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances
down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly, "I would do
anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully
into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would
do...anything!!!"
He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Yes,... Anything!" His voice
turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
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| Posted by andrew j. gregg on 14-Aug-2005 | Anatomy LessonLittle Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson
one day. So she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her
vagina, and said, "Johnny, this is where you come from."
Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting that
all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one
asked. Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because
I came this close to being a little shit."
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| Posted by Katie F. on 14-Aug-2005 | Liar LiarThe minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the
church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.
"Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing
who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."
"Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded. "I'm shocked. When I was your
age, I never even thought about sex."
In unison they all replied, "You win!"
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| Posted by Free Bird on 14-Aug-2005 | Little Johnny's WarningLittle Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school and one day he
tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to
scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades,
somebody is going to get a spanking...."
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| Posted by Cameron Dude on 14-Aug-2005 | The Chicano KidsIt was the first day of school for the kindergarten class, as
the teacher walked in the classroom, she noticed something was
written on the chalkboard:
"T T T 1A."
She looked at the children and said, "Who wrote this?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "I did, teacher."
"Well, what does that mean, Johnny?" asked the teacher.
Johnny answers, "It means, 'To The Teacher 1 Apple,'" and with
that, he gave the teacher an apple.
"Very good," says the teacher, "Thank You."
The next morning, the teacher walks in the classroom, and
notices, once again, something written on the board. This time
the chalkboard reads:
"T T T 1O."
She asked the children, "Who wrote this?"
Then little Bobby answers, "I did, teacher."
The teacher says, "Well, Bobby, what does that mean?"
Bobby says, "It means, 'To The Teacher 1 Orange,'" and he gives
the teacher an orange.
"Very good, Bobby, thank you."
The next morning, she walks in the classroom, and she noticed on
the board.
"F U C K 1 T."
Disappointed, the teacher exclaimed, "WHO WROTE THIS!!"
Then little Juanito raises his hand and says, "I did, teacher."
Angrily, the teacher asks, "Well, what does this mean, Juanito?"
"It means, 'From Us Chicano Kids 1 Tamale.'"
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